"I made a website about this person in 2010 because I had been contacted by about 12 other girls having the same story as I. www.davidmatthewzane.weebly.com We know who the person is and she is exposed on the website (as much as possible without doing anything illegal). The police in her home town have a slight idea and it's sort of explained in a blog I'm writing on the website. I'm doing very well these days. I was already depressed and vulnerable when I got sucked in by this catfish and it took me to an even darker place. Its now a memory and experience that I can talk about. My mental health has never been better. I hate that people are so quick to judge but I suppose that is human nature. I smile on the show because I know how ridiculous it sounds. Hind sight is 20/20 but being involved in something like this is not laid out in a checklist like it is presented in the show."
"I honestly can't explain how the emotional attachment/connection happens but it really is all in your head. And in your head you can make it any way you want. It is a fantasy but you have someone there feeding you the fantasy and making it seem like it will be real some day. I beat myself up with the "what ifs." What if these really are happening and I'm an insensitive asshole for pushing someone to meet me? What if next time really happens? Like Dr Phil said, they find your vulnerability and take full advantage. He found my need for attention and wanting to feel wanted, special, and important. All of that worked for me and before I knew it, I was in too deep to just be able to walk away. And I felt very alone in doing it all. I was also defensive and torn when others tried to say something seemed fishy. I appreciate you being open and seeing it from a different perspective."
"If you notice, Dr. Phil does most of the talking during the show. His questions are very specific and are not open ended. He asks questions in a way that is looking for a certain response. They edited out a lot of my responses because he didn't like my answers. When he kept asking me "how was I selling this to myself", you'll notice my response of "because I was in love?" was more of a question than an answer because I honestly didn't know what he wanted me to say. When he asked me how long I was involved, he held up 3 fingers. The honest answer is OVERALL 2.5 years but I was moving on much sooner than that, but I counted the time until I no longer had any contact with "him." I was dating other people and "David" would still contact me out of the blue and continue to give me sob stories like his son died. In fact, when he called to tell me that, I was in my apartment with the person I was dating at the time. I included that time in the "almost 3 years" they kept saying but they didn't include any of that. Our recorded interviews were 1.5-2 hours long and you get 60-90 seconds of it."
"Good point! LOL That's pretty funny you say that whole pancake analogy (Dr. Phil says no matter how flat you make a pancake, it always has two sides). I know I've been guilty of the same thing...passing judgement of others on a tv show. I can honestly say having experienced this, I have a whole new appreciation for people who appear on these shows. Lisa, you are right. When filming, they presented it as they had done all the research and found the perp. We gave them all the information they needed. We already knew who it was and when they showed their video clip of the "perp" it was the wrong person and we knew it. They cut that entire segment out of the show when it aired. The biggest favor they did for us (although it backfires on us to a certain extent) was to let us get our story out there. Even though we are ridiculed, chastised, and demeaned, our story will mean something to someone and it might help them :)